The Washington Post published excerpts from Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl's journal on Wednesday, revealing that the rescued Taliban prisoner had some troubling thoughts leading up to his capture in 2009.

Conspiracy theories have been swirling around Bergdahl with some accusing the soldier of being a 'calculated deserter' for leaving his post in the summer of 2009 while stationed in Afghanistan. However, close friends and family have stood by the 28-year-old stating that Bergdahl was anything but a deserter.

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Berdahl had mailed his journal, a laptop, and his copy of the book Atlas Shrugged to a friend just prior to his 2009 capture.

The journal entries revealed a young man struggling with understanding the world around him and constantly at odds with himself.

"I'm so tired of the blackness, but what will happen to me without it. Bloody hell why do I keep thinking of this over and over." The young soldier wrote in one journal excerpt.

In another, Bergdahl talks about 'reverting' back to old feelings of cold judgment and darkness.

Ayn Rand's dystopian novel Atlas Shrugged also seemed to be on Bergdahl's mind a lot prior to his capture, and in an e-mail to a friend titled "Who is John Galt?" the soldier wrote:

"I will serve no bandit, nor lair, for i know John Galt, and understand . . .This life is too short to serve those who compromise value, and its ethics. i am done compromising."

In Atlas Shrugged, John Galt is a controversial figure who leads a rebellion against the corrupt echelons of society.

At the close of the journal, Bergdahl imagined wandering the earth alone as a lone wolf. However, still in recovery from his five-year imprisonment, the rescued soldier hasn't yet opened up to the media or, reportedly, his family about the events leading up to him walking away from his post and being captured in 2009. 

TagsBowe Bergdahl, Bergdahl journal, Afghanistan war